A Radical Concept - Forgiveness

My sister-in-law Allie recently reminded me that I haven’t written in a while and there really isn't much of an excuse for it. I have just been busy.

Usually if I am not writing it means a) I don’t have anything to say, or b) I don’t want to share my thoughts because whatever I have been up to is not of any note. Neither is true in this case. There have been tons of things going on in my life. Lots of wonderful, emotional and mushy stories...

In the past 2 months I have:

1. I attended a wedding in Ontario for my sister-in-law Allie who got remarried and I was in the wedding party. Met tons of great people and even saw a Blue Jays game! (More to follow at a later date)

2. I had the opportunity to travel to Austin, TX for work and in turn was able to attend a book signing for Zach Levi’s new book “Radical Love” and even got to meet him very briefly. (15 whole seconds...but it was just lovely to hear him speak about his book in person.) The trip was great, and not only did I sweat like I have never sweated before, but I was able to get a little R&R and met some lovely people. Including sitting beside Jensen Ackles on a brief flight from Austin to Dallas. (Not that I realized who he was until about 5 mins into our conversation. 😊 That’s me...super observant!)

3. I just returned from a week in British Columbia where it was sunny, hot and the furry babies and I got some much-needed down time. I read. I swam. I burned...quite a bit. I also had time to think. I also got to spend a day with Allie, which was a treat as she and her new hubby were in Kelowna for work. (I even got to see her hubby Stephen in action on a movie set, which was quite impressive!)

So yeah, it's been a busy couple of months. I will expand upon the above trips on a later date but wanted to send a quick note out to let everyone know I am still here and doing well. I also wanted to share a little snippet of what I have read/been listening to recently.

As I said, I attended a book signing in Austin, TX for a book written by Zach Levi called “Radical Love.” Anyone who knows me knows that I love to devour books, especially any book that discusses mental health and raises awareness in this area. I read this book fairly quickly and not only loved it, but also felt a need to go back and this time listened to it on Audible.

Firstly, make sure you have Kleenex on hand! The book is very raw and for someone who cannot help but feel others' pain as well as their joy, I found it hard not to be utterly moved by the words offered. I have been listening to a chapter while walking my girls each night and tonight I listened to Chapter 11 – Learn to Forgive.

I’m not sure why this chapter stood out to me at this exact moment, but Zach shares an idea that really moved me, and I wanted to share it. I'd like to preface it by saying that it does reference a passage from the Bible and for those who are not religious, please keep in mind the context and underlying message being presented. As a Christian myself, I found it incredibly profound, and I hope it speaks to you as well.

“Jesus’s concept of forgiveness was radical in its time, and I don’t think we fully grapple with that fact even to this day. We’ve glossed over it in such weird ways. We treat forgiveness like it’s a traffic fine. The person says, “I’m sorry,” and you say, “I forgive you,” and that’s that. But forgiveness is much deeper and more three-dimensional. Forgiveness is genuinely being done with something. Forgiveness is finding resolution and closure. Ultimately, forgiveness is radical acceptance. It is radical love. It’s understanding whatever someone did to you was because of their brokenness, not because of you and not because they are a “bad person.” They had bad programming, and that led them to cheat on you, hit you, yell at you, whatever. “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do.” It’s not a random platitude plucked from the Bible. It’s a profound insight into the ways in which generational trauma shapes who we are and how we treat other people, even in ways we do not understand.”

- Zachary Levi

I have always thought I am a “forgiving person”, in fact I have often thought I am too overly forgiving. Hearing those words tonight made me stop for a moment. Am I actually forgiving or am I simply good at pushing down hurt and giving off the impression of forgiveness? Something I will have to reflect on a bit more.

What I can say is that I will keep the following words in mind the next time I am faced with asking for and offering forgiveness.

“But forgiveness is much deeper and more three-dimensional. Forgiveness is genuinely being done with something. Forgiveness is finding resolution and closure. Ultimately, forgiveness is radical acceptance. It is radical love. It’s understanding whatever someone did to you was because of their brokenness, not because of you and not because they are a “bad person.” They had bad programming, and that led them to cheat on you, hit you, yell at you, whatever.”

Something to think about...