I have yet another confession to make and it is huge, well at least according to my new friend Clara who I had the pleasure of meeting at Starbucks a mere hour ago.
I, Jenny have never seen an episode of Chuck starring Zachary Levi. I know… take a moment and absorb that statement. I have not avoided watching this show for any reason, nor is there any excuse for this horrific lapse in my viewing selections. It just is.
Let me rewind a little here and give you some context. In December 2021 I was let go from my job and since then have been denying myself the pleasure of an overpriced, yet satisfyingly delicious Starbucks beverage daily. I personally feel that it would be irresponsible of me to be spending money frivolously when I have had no gainful employment for almost two months. Makes sense to me! Anywho…I allowed myself the treat of an outing to Starbucks today in celebration of my newly acquired employment to start in 2 weeks. YAY!
Usually, I would pre-order on my phone and pick my drink up to go, but I thought seeing as I had nowhere immediate to be, that I could, go in, order, have a seat and enjoy a little people watching. In hindsight, I may have been too hasty to join the outside world.
I am generally an extrovert who has been described by a few people as “way too much.” I take this to mean I can come off as super friendly, which I am. I consider myself a happy person. I try to see the good in situations and often find myself in the centre of some hilarious occurrences. From friends, to dating to work, I am usually the one laughing the loudest and telling some funny antidote that has happened to me. Just as I am now.
For the past couple of months, I have been somewhat reclusive, mainly sticking close to home and relaxing with my furry babies. My idea of excitement lately has been job hunting, finally falling prey to Instagram and trying to catch up on the tv series that I have been missing out on for the past couple of years. I did take myself on a date to see a movie in December called “American Underdog” which I really enjoyed and happens to star Zachary Levi and Anna Paquin.
Which leads me to my original story. When I arrived at Starbucks today, I noticed there was a bit of a queue waiting to order and I quietly took my place (6 feet apart of course) in line and began my people watching. It was at this time that I noticed that in front of me stood a former colleague whom I had not seen in a year or so and so I struck up a conversation with her.
We bantered back and forth about work, home life, and of course our furry babies. You know, the usual stuff you discuss with people you know, but don’t really know. The line-up seemed to be going nowhere, so we kept talking and the topic turned to movies. BIG MISTAKE!
Little did I know that I was about to meet Clara, aka: Zachary Levi’s biggest fan and maybe stalker?! I was telling my ex-colleague about how much I enjoyed the movie and stated, “Zach Levi and Anna Paquin were so good, you really should see it.” It was at this moment that Clara, who had obviously been listening to our conversation interjected.
“Oh, do you know Zachary Levi personally?” she asked.
“Well, no. I can’t say I do, but I was just explaining to my friend that I just saw a movie of his and would definitely recommend it.” I spoke.
She then went on to screech the following at me in a loud and very authoritative voice, “Perhaps you should show more respect and not refer to Zachary Levi as Zach, unless you personally know him and count him as a friend.”
**It was at this point that I had a flashback to being 6 years old. I was in my backyard playing with a friend and had taken the Lord name in vain. Ohhhh…I was so evil. It was at that moment that I heard my mom’s voice yelling at me through the kitchen window, telling me that I was in trouble. Taking the Lord’s name in vain was no small act and I was going to be punished! **
Trying to hold back a laugh and noting Clara was being serious, all I could think was, “Are you going to punish me for taking Zachary’s name in vain?”
Then the naughty side of me thought, “Well, if I must be punished, can we please defer to Zachary Levi to decide on the said punishment? Surely he is creative enough to think of a fitting way for me to make it up to him.” LOL
I instead said, “My apologies, I was not aware I had callously used Zachary’s name in vain and I will make sure not to call him Zach again.”
This seemed to appease the 20 something, plaid clad millennial, and I let out a sigh of relief and turned around to my friend again. She was barely holding it together as well and decided she better get in on the action stating, “You know Jenny, you should really apologize to Zachary. He is the one who you have disgraced.”
“Disgraced?! For Pete’s sake, forget I said anything…You have got to be kidding me.” Which of course she was. But Clara once again decided to interject saying, “Well, I’m fairly sure you don’t have his cell to call him to apologize, so I guess you will just have to let it go.”
“Gee, thanks Clara, so glad I have your permission to let it go. Oh, and by the way…do you happen to have Zachary’s cell number? You know, just in case I need to make a formal apology because he is as you said, deserving of one! “
I am not sure if she caught the sarcasm in this and she then proceeded to list off all of Zachary’s catalogue of tv, movie and even voice work with no apparent reason other than to make sure I knew that she knew EVERYTHING about Zachary. Wow! She sure put me to shame!
It was at this time that we had reached the counter and it was my turn to order. Hooray, now this somewhat hilarious and ridiculous conversation can end! “Can I please have a Strawberry Acai Lemonade, light on the ice please?” I spoke.
And lo and behold, like a seagull trying to scrape the last remnants of a milkshake from the bottom of a 1988 styrofoam cup, from behind me I heard Clara’s voice again, “You pronounced Acai wrong. It’s pronounced aa-saa-ee.”
I am not kidding! It took everything in me not to turn around and say “Oh, thanks for the lesson on pronunciation. Correct me one more time and you won’t be able to pronounce anything for a very long time!! OK?!” But I didn’t…. I nicely turned and said, “Thank you. Can I please buy you a drink as thanks for the 2 lessons you have provided me today?”
She then in a fake angelic voice said, “Oh, that’s lovely. Thank you. Please have them put my name as Clara on the cup.”
“My pleasure Clara. Anytime!”
Thankfully, that was the end of our little “chat” and by the time that my name was called, I grabbed my drink, sprinted out of the store, ran to my car, and sat in the parking lot laughing while tears ran down my face.
What is it about me that attracts such random people and experiences?
The moral of the story…do not speak the name of our Lord and Saviour or Zachary Levi without the due respect they deserve. And BTW…go see “American Underdog,” it really is very good.
Much Love.
So hilarious Jenn. I would have been laughing so hard at her.